I have written this post a few times and this is what it ended up being.
I always feel like I owe people an excuse for everything, no matter what it is, I hear it's genetic... Anyways, I have made a choice about school and here is it, I am going to leave the Surgical Tech program. I enjoyed my time in the class, but when it came down to it I don't feel that it was for me. I could give a bunch or reasons why to try and justify it, but I would only do that to make it seem like I have a "real" reason. I am so thankful for the opportunity to have been in the program and I am so grateful that the teacher saw something in me and allowed me in. I feel bad I have always told people I was enjoying it when I wasn't, that was just easier that admitting to myself the truth. I still love medical things and seeing how the body works, surgical technology just wasn't for me and I had to be in the program to find that out. I have learned a lot about myself this past semester of school and the biggest thing I learned is I just want to be a stay at home mom... for now. I have thought and prayed a lot, and for me, this is right. I felt so at peace when I finally said it to Brad. I have learned a lot about myself and figured out that I may not have a school degree yet, but that's OK and I can get one when I am really ready. I have learned that taking care of the kids and teaching them is more rewarding than any job I could ever get. I have learned that I need to find a hobby or something at home to do so I don't lose who I am and so I don't go looking for it in something I really don't want to do, i.e. school. I am really at peace with my decision and feel it is right. I am so thankful for everyone who has helped me this past semester with the kids. I'm sorry the end wasn't what they thought, but I learned a lot and am thankful for them helping me do so. I am so thankful for a wonderful husband who puts up with all of my wishy-washy decisions and supports me no matter what and who supports me with being a stay-at-home mom and grateful he has a wonderful job that allows us to make this choice. My eye's have been opened to what I really want to do at this point in my life and I am excited for it to begin.
I always feel like I owe people an excuse for everything, no matter what it is, I hear it's genetic... Anyways, I have made a choice about school and here is it, I am going to leave the Surgical Tech program. I enjoyed my time in the class, but when it came down to it I don't feel that it was for me. I could give a bunch or reasons why to try and justify it, but I would only do that to make it seem like I have a "real" reason. I am so thankful for the opportunity to have been in the program and I am so grateful that the teacher saw something in me and allowed me in. I feel bad I have always told people I was enjoying it when I wasn't, that was just easier that admitting to myself the truth. I still love medical things and seeing how the body works, surgical technology just wasn't for me and I had to be in the program to find that out. I have learned a lot about myself this past semester of school and the biggest thing I learned is I just want to be a stay at home mom... for now. I have thought and prayed a lot, and for me, this is right. I felt so at peace when I finally said it to Brad. I have learned a lot about myself and figured out that I may not have a school degree yet, but that's OK and I can get one when I am really ready. I have learned that taking care of the kids and teaching them is more rewarding than any job I could ever get. I have learned that I need to find a hobby or something at home to do so I don't lose who I am and so I don't go looking for it in something I really don't want to do, i.e. school. I am really at peace with my decision and feel it is right. I am so thankful for everyone who has helped me this past semester with the kids. I'm sorry the end wasn't what they thought, but I learned a lot and am thankful for them helping me do so. I am so thankful for a wonderful husband who puts up with all of my wishy-washy decisions and supports me no matter what and who supports me with being a stay-at-home mom and grateful he has a wonderful job that allows us to make this choice. My eye's have been opened to what I really want to do at this point in my life and I am excited for it to begin.
This past year I had the same struggle. I felt like a failure because I hadn't gotten a professional degree. I went to cosmetology school, and I don't have very many options with that around here. Plus I'm just not into hair. My struggle came in when I would think about that I had my college app and all my letters of recommendation to apply for the dental program in Pocatello. Didn't even send it and went to beauty school instead. I do and don't regret going. Then before I got pregnant with Sydney, I went to an 11 week dental assisting program and right when I finished my 500 hour internship, I found out I was pregnant with Sydney. There were no jobs available and I was so sick to even continue looking. (plus who would want to hire a pregnant lady who would be leaving in a couple months) So that pretty much went down the drain and I feel so bad for that going to waste. I went back and forth so much about going back to college and what I would do. But being a wife and a mother never left my head. I'm happy now with a very PT job taking pictures (another passion of mine) and it feels good. :) I'm glad you were able to find that too! Makes me feel so glad I'm not the only one with this struggle.
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