Past Few Days

Our project for Monday was watching a Christmas movie. All of the kids agreed on "How the Grinch Stole Christmas." Not one of my favorite ones but they all wanted it, so it made it easy. Yesterday we didn't do a project. I had two finals and was didn't have time to do anything but study and test. The worst part is I'm not done, I still have 3 test and clinics. The good news is I passed my Surgical Tech final lab practical. It was a big test that determined if I went on or not. I may have passed but it was just by a hair. Everything that could go wrong did. The first think I threw opened wrong and ended up contaminating by back table. Then I had to put a new drape on the table, which didn't want to open nice. I did well for a few items then another opened wrong, the package it was in tore diagonal and that's not right. To get that one I had to open glove to get it and 3 glove packaged tore open. By this point I am on the verge of tears and freaking out. It still got worse. A bunch of other things open wrong. I went and got my hands wet and realized my gown didn't have a towel in it, so I had to get one off the back table which isn't the best to do. Again my gloves tore and that's when I realized I forgot to pull something I needed, and I lost it. I felt so defeated  I have never had a case go so wrong. The last practice one I did went perfectly. My teacher told me to just breath and I can ask for things. She pulled what I needed and after what I'm sure was a long 30 min for them I was done. Then left to get my grade and I cleaned up and knew I had failed. There was no way I should be able to go on. Then, 30 LONG min later my teacher came back and said she and the other instructor were at a draw and weren't sure... Ugh really? She had me wrap and open a gown. The one I did was out of the closet and wrong, and if I wasn't in such a rush I could have figured that out. She told me she would pass me. She said my tests wasn't as bad as I was thinking, but I'm sure me crying made her a littler nicer. It was not the best way to start the day. I told her sorry for getting so upset but all the stress of the semester and the magnitude of the test all came to a front and I couldn't hold it back even though I tried. I am so glad the semester is almost over. I really miss being home with the kids and just being with them. I am ready for the 5 weeks off.