Life is Weird

 

Being married for 20 years means we have gone through a lot. Income is one of those things. When I was staying at home and Brad was the only one working, as you can imagine we didn't have a lot of extra money. Loved being at home and it was worth it. Now we both work full time and make what I feel is a good income combine, but my head in some ways still thinks we have leftover what we used to have. Our first time in Boise to pay rent it would take the whole of one check and about a quarter of the second. After other bills and food, you can imagine how little we had left. Then when all the kids were younger it felt like we'd do great then a car would break down or kid would have a hospital bill or something would need fixed, but that's life so little extra things we didn't get a lot. One of those random things was Wallflowers or wall scents. These aren't crazy expensive but when it came to buying those or going on a date, date won. Last week I told Brad we need to get another candle. He asked why I didn't just get the wall things and I said because they are too expensive and we can't afford them. He laughed a little and that's when it hit me, I still had the 'younger marriage' thought vs now. I was very happy to go out and get one and now our house smells good all the time (or at least I hope so, teens boys and dogs work hard to make that not happen.) I wouldn't change the struggle to be where we are now. 

Fun Activity

I love Jacks leaders. He's had a lot of good ones and right now they have done a lot of activities the boys have loved. One night they did a Bread and Jam night. One of the leaders makes really good bread, a boy brought jam and everyone brought an instrument and they jammed out. Jacks has a Bass and took that. They did send a video but the quality was really bad, but all the boys loved it. 

Then they did a bonfire and hot dogs. Not the biggest bonfire, but still a lot of fun.

Emery's Been Busy

 

The past couple weeks Emery has done a lot of fun Halloween things. 

She painted pumpkins with Jenna. This is the third or fourth one she has done. 

Some friends went to Farmstead. It was nice for part then mid corn maze it started to rain and hail, with no where to go. 

They went to Haunted World. I think this is the third or 4th year they have gone. 

Then a friend had a Halloween party. She went as Subway Surfer Girl. 

She carved pumpkins tonight too. Hers are the two on the bottom.

More Memories

I was able to get a few pictures from Danny my cousin. 

I remember this camp out so much. The photos say May 24 '98. We went on a hike, camped then hiked out. I hated the pack, it was weird to carry. The hike in wasn't bad that I remember. That night was so cold. You do see snow in a picture, so yeah. But because it was so cold and super dark I didn't want to wake anyone up. Really the fact I slept the night at all is a surprise (I didn't do well with sleepovers) but I also woke up and had to go to the bathroom but I held it until morning. I waited until Aunt Gerry and Uncle George woke up (I slept in their tent). On the way out we walked up to a part that I think other people were at the side of the trail and told us to stop. On one side of the trail there was a rattle snake and it was not happy. I was so scared and remember Paul holding me to the far side of his body and walking me past.  Aunt Gerry and Uncle George always had a camper like we did, but they always had a motorhome, and the last one I remember was decades old. Even being so old, she made it super nice inside and fun to be in. I think Brittany and I had a few sleepovers at her house in that too. 

I didn't get the just "lean over a little bit" part of the picture set up.

One of her motorhomes. I love seeing Grandma Nickels in that. Jayson there looks like one of his daughters now. I don't know who is on top.

Game nights happened often at her house. This is when I thought it took hours to get to her house. Don't know what Jayson is doing here... or mom.... or me. She always had the new game. I remember playing BobIt at her house for the first time. 

Grandma makes another appearance. She refused to remotely touch playing card. They were the devils doing or work or toy, I can't remember which but she hated them. I don't remember this trip but I do remember other camping trips we all took together. And I wore bucket hats way too much. 

Speaking of hats and trips. I remember going to the Oregon Coast with both families together. We drove there and camped along the way. At one point I got a hat. I think it was sunflowers. A little later Aunt Gerry got one. It was denim and had to have something else on it but I don't remember. I think I told her I liked hers and she liked my hat and so we traded. The next day I regretted it, I don't remember why and felt so bad. Finally told my mom and she asked if we could change back. It really wasn't a big deal but I remember being so embarrassed to do it. 

I hate grief, the waves of it. I hate it takes this to bring back all these wonderful memories, but I do love remembering them.  

This Past Weekend

 

I hung out with a friend from work this Friday. We have a few times and did a craft last time. We wanted to paint doormats but couldn't find anything blank ones, so we went for a paint by numbers. Her painting had a hundred squares, so she didn't finish. It was fun to get together to paint, talk and eat dirt cake. 

A couple weeks ago Emery called me around 7:45 am; that's not a time I want a call. She did start by saying everything is okay but the car is making a really loud noise when she turns left. It's no secret she hates this car, so while I believed her there was a noise, I didn't think it would be that bad. A few days later she had our car and I needed to go out so I took hers and I hate to say it, she was kind of right. It was sluggish, little loud running and turning left made a loud noise. I told Brad but still that car had issues before so we weren't super concerned. The next day I took her to get her car washed and it was much worse. Much louder, felt hard to get it moving and the engine didn't sound good. I made Brad go out with me right after that to drive it and he hit Eagle and thought about turning back. When we got home we checked the oil and there was almost nothing. We aren't that bad of car owners, the last time it was changed was in July, so this isn't normal. We got oil and filled it up, let it sit then drove it. It sounded better but not good still. We now had a choice. Take it in, spend whatever that would cost in hopes it lasts to April. We did plan to get a different car around then. Or just junk it out. We called a few places and looked and we could get $125 for the car, so putting money into it isn't worth it to us. So Emery got her wish and a new to us kids car was bought. We did Carvana again and would use them again. So easy. We got a Nissan Kicks, a cute little SUV. 

She is already decorating it. 

We have said a few times that is it a kids car, but I don't think she hears it. She's happy the car runs better and really, Brad and I are happy to have her in a safter car, even if it was 6 months earlier than we thought it would be. 

Birthday Gift

 

While I was in Twin with my mom, Emery had the appointment to get her birthday ear piercing. This one is called an industrial. It is a little too big now, but that is for healing reasons. She said it was the most painful of all the ones she's had so far, but she loves it. 

A Weekend We Weren't Ready For

 Growing older is fun in some ways but in other ways it is the worst. One part of getting older that sucks is those who were older than you in the first place, they also get older. Last week Mom text us kids to let us know Aunt Gerry was in the hospital, not doing great and to pray for her. She has been in and out of the hospital a lot this past year with different things, so this time didn't raise any alarms, other than praying she felt better soon. Saturday morning Mom called and let us know that Aunt Gerry has been given very little time to live and would probably pass that weekend. It didn't seem real. She held on until Gary got there and passed away Sunday morning. She was only 66 and it was a shock. While I know she is with her parents and grandson and I know her earthly pain is gone, it's been hard coming to grips with it. It felt so quick. 

This was at my wedding. She always wanted a daughter and since she didn't have one of her own, she treated me like I was her daughter. We went to craft fairs a lot, I remember her doing my hair at times, although I hated having my hair done. She threw me a bridal and baby shower with the boys. She was the first we told we were having twins. We tried to find Linda but she had gone home for the day, Brad had to show someone, so we went to Physician center and showed her the ultrasound. She yelled out, she was so excited and then said, I'm doing a shower for you. My first memory of her house is being scared of her tub. I really don't know why, but she put me in the tub and went to get a towel and I freaked out. Aunt Gerry made the biggest monster cookies. I loved paying the Sega at her house and thought I was amazing at Sonic, but I probably actually was really bad. She collected bears for a long time and her house was full of them. She always had craft things to do. She took classes to know how to message and Aunt Gerry gave the best ones.  She even had the table for it. I remember when she had 2 foster girls at her house she took us to the summer movies. I think her and my mom switched who took us. I do remember getting in trouble for being a turd during one of those times, and I had to apologize. It worked, I didn't like getting in trouble after that. They had a creek in the back of their horse pasture and we swam in it all the time. How we didn't get sick is beyond me. They also had a fireplace and she was always up for smores. She lived so far out that it got very dark out there. The boys would play night games and I remember doing it a few times, but how dark it was scared me. I don't know what the occasion was, but she took me and Brittany out to dinner at Tomatoes and for dessert we got fried banana's. Then we went to her house and went in the hot tub had popcorn and watched movies, played games, I'm sure did a craft and stayed the night. I remember thinking it took forever to get out to her house. I loved going out there but I swore it took an hour to get there. It was maybe 30 minutes. She did try to set me up on a date. For some reason we canceled and I actually ended up going out with Brad that night. As I said she was so excited for me having twins, I think me having kids. She came to the hospital and the nurses made me walk around because of the c-section. She was in with the boys and when I came back she had somehow picked them both up. Later on I got good at that, but a few days old, I was so surprised. She also came over one day and helped me out. Then she took them for a walk so I could sleep. She was gone for an hour or so, I did not sleep because I was just wondering where they were at, and no one had a cell phone. I knew they were safe, just new mom nerves. She also had so many toys. I think she had jet skis at one point. She has 4 wheelers too and for prom my and my friends went out and road them. We even went camping as a family, maybe we just Aunt Gerry and Uncle George, my mom and dad and me, but they brought them along. I got the best summer job because of her. The doctor she was a nurse for at the time needed her barn cleaned out. Aunt Gerry suggested me and I did such a good job she hired me for the summer and even into the winter to work for her. I thought it was amazing because I was 16 and she paid me $10 an hour. She ended up being the nurse for the pediatrician the boys saw. It was fun going to all their appointments and having her take care of them. She also had so many animals. The ostriches were the weirdest ones, and she'd make art with their eggs. Then in the end she made sloppy joes with their meat. She always had things to do. Big inflatable balls you go into, tons of bouncy houses and water slides and she'd come set them up for everyone to enjoy. I've loved being the only girl, but there were times I'd see how her and mom were and I was sad I didn't have that. They had the real sister bond, fight like cats and dogs but love each other like no one else could. Even my kids knew how amazing she was. For a year, Emery and Jacks went to her house after school. They road the bus there then Brad picked them up. I used her cricket machine so many times cutting out vinyl letters. I don't have many of those projects still but they were fun at the time. 

I hate that it takes funerals for family to see each other. Every one says that and feels that, but it doesn't change much. I saw cousins that I haven't seen since I was in High School. A lot that had never met any of my kids or Brad, and we have been married for 20 years. It still feels too soon, and I don't know if that feeling will fully go away. She is and was so loved. I went through pictures and didn't have as many as I thought with her in them. I hope to get more from a cousin.

This is the card she made me when I got baptized. She could never spell my name right. Kali was how it usually was. 

One year just before Grandma and Grandpa Camp dad was in the hospital. They didn't want to cancel so Aunt Gerry and Uncle George went up to help. I did bring dad for a day so he could still have some fun with them. The kids loved that year, they loved every year, but it was fun having even more grandparent love. And they loved our kids like my parents loved them.

One of the waterslides she had. 

On Thursday Paul, Jayson and I drove to Twin to see mom. We all just needed to give her a hug and see how she was. I couldn't shake the feeling to stay until the funeral and I'm glad I did. Just being around mom was helpful and talking about memories and feelings helped a lot too. 

The funeral was really good. As I said, got to see a lot of family, but hearing the memories from her kids was beautiful. I hugged more people that day then I have probably ever. Most people did not recognize me, which I thought was funny. 

She's gone too soon and will me missed. While I didn't see her as much since moving to Boise I do cherish the time I did have with her and that she was my aunt.  I hate this song, maybe because it's so true, but until we meet again, you'll be in my heart. 

Sweet 17

I have been very behind with posting. On the 23rd Emery turned 17! This is her last year before she's an adult and she can not wait to be one.  This year she wanted a lowkey birthday. On her actual birthday I made Baked Ziti and we had fun cupcakes. She just wanted the rings from them. For her birthday she wanted a new piercing, which she's getting tomorrow. 

That weekend we went and watched "The Long Walk," then her and Jenna made cake and built Legos. 

So much growth has happened this year. It's been harder for me to watch my daughter grow up than the boys. I don't know why that is. I love who she is growing into. She is a hard worker. When she takes a chore for cleaning something or organizing something she does the best job. She has a good group of friends and is with them most weekends.  Her room always smells the best, I think that's a girl thing, but it always smells good, not always the cleanest though, we have to work on that. Emery has the best ideas, especially when it's that we should go get Zupas and walk the mall or look at Legos. We don't go a ton, but its fun to just hang out, and Zupas is delish. She also is always up for a 'fun drink' aka a gas stating drink. She technically started college this year. The school she's in will set her up to graduate High School with an Associates. This year of school is going to be a little hard, but it will be worth it in the end. She still loves to bake, her favorite thing to make has been pumpkin muffins. She had a seasonal job at Old Navy and really liked it, it was much better than her first job. She did not know it was seasonal when she was hired, so it was a surprise when they told her she didn't have more shifts. She has really gotten into doing art. I was a little surprised when she joined art club last year, I didn't think she liked it that much. Her room now is full of little art projects she's done through the year. She also has done more crocheting. She's made hats and a hanging plant and she even made me a boob for a friend going through cancer. The best think when kids start driving is they can run places for you. Emery is always willing to get things, she has even done shopping during the summer when I was busy. She hates when were in stores together to go into a different isle alone, but then the next day will go to the mall and walk around alone for an hour. I love that she still likes to shop with me, but don't get how it's so different. Her favorite food is Baked Ziti. Her favorite subject is Middle Eastern History, and her favorite game is Phasmaphobia. 

Pumpkin Time

 We painted pumpkins tonight. It's more a tradition to paint them vs carve them. Jacks did Michael Meyers, Brad did Ralph, Emery did the cat, Beck did the white eyes and I did Frankenstein. Maybe when Cam and Cailey come in a few weeks, we'll have them paint some to add. 

HOCO

This past weekend was Home Coming at Emery's school. She went with a group of friends and had the best time. They spent half the day getting ready together, went to the dance and then got IHop. Emery doesn't really like IHop a lot, but it's tradition to go.  One of the girls mom took some pictures and sent it to everyone.