It happened, we dropped out oldest baby off at college this past weekend. Cam took his car and we took one too, not super full of things but pretty full. We went to Twin first to see the grandparents on Friday, then left Twin on a snowy Saturday to go to Pocatello. He checked in and we unloaded the car. He has a room mate, but maybe not for long. He got offered an open spot at another location, so Cam may be alone, or get someone new. Dorms are much smaller than I thought they were, but being in class and studying all day, you don't need a huge location. It was a quick drop off. We helped him put all his things in his room and left him and Cailey to set it up.
Before we got home, he text that he has his room set up. I love all the little personal things he took. It will help it feel a little more like home for him.
We left after we got everything moved into his room. We were there maybe 30 minutes. I did well. I knew I would be, as long as Cam didn't tear up. I started to tear up a little bit, but held it back. I did well until we got home and I saw the empty room. I had to go out to get and do a few things and had a good cry then. It's not a sad cry. I do and will miss him. I have loved having him home this last semester, just like Beck the semester before. He was helpful with everything. He made dinner once a week and did things that we needed done. We have had a lot of good talks. He helped me feel like I/we didn't fully mess up as a parent. (not that the others do, we just had a few good conversations) Cam was always up for a game, and I'll miss playing those with him while he is gone. It's a cry for change. Change is always hard but needed. I know he will be safe and fed and be okay, but I am not there to make sure those are done, and that's the hard part to think about. All of the 'What if's' that may happen. He is out first gone, so I really don't know for sure, but as a mom, I don't know if that feeling ever will go away. At the end of all of that, I am most excited for him. He is out and spreading his wings. He has a good first few days. He's tried out a few of the food places on campus, played games, found the YSA ward, went to class, studied in the lounge, worked out, and had his first dorm shower which was "weird but not bad". I know there are so many more things to come as well.
With me, I can't keep something empty or a mess for long, cleaning is a way I decompress too. I did clean up his room throughout the weekend too.
Found some fun art on the wall,
But covered it up with some other art.
Brad will use this as an office while Cam is gone, and used the shelves to house our surplus of Legos too.
Now that Cam is gone, Beck works a lot more and Emery and Jacks are in school, we have two turds back in our room. Luna buried herself too quickly.
Change can be hard but it's also good. We are so excited and proud of Camden and know, while school may be hard at times, the goals he has will pay off. He's going to have the best time at school too.
